Initiation Is Never Over.

“Men are not disturbed by things, but by the view which they take of them.”

– Epictetus

There’s a quiet lie beneath most modern men's lives:

That we finish. That one day, we arrive.

At manhood.
At wholeness.
At peace.

As if some invisible medal ceremony is waiting at the end of the grind.
As if once we’ve made the money, fathered the kids, read the Stoics, and maybe done a bit of ayahuasca—we can finally stop.
Take a breath.
Put our weapons down.
Say, “I’ve made it.”

But the truth is sharper.
Harder.
More liberating.

Initiation is never over.

The False Ending

Every man has felt this:

You work your arse off. You get the goal. You reach the top of some personal Everest.
And for a moment, it’s euphoric.

Then…
It’s quiet.

Then…
It’s hollow.

Then you feel the panic:
“Is this it?”

You thought transformation would be an event.
You thought “the work” had a final chapter.

You were wrong.

There is no final ceremony.
There is no “fully initiated” status.

There’s only the next layer.
The next edge.
The next death.

Because manhood isn’t a place.
It’s a practice.

Real Initiation Has No End Date

We inherited a broken myth.

Once upon a time, boys were initiated.
Truly.
They were taken from the village, stripped of identity, plunged into hardship.
Tested. Broken open. Reforged.
Returned as men with a place, a role, a myth to live inside.

But that system is dead.
And what replaced it?
Nothing.

We’re left with job titles, porn addictions, self-help dopamine loops, and men’s groups that skirt around the real abyss.

But initiation isn’t a moment. It’s not a drum circle.
It’s not even the dark night of the soul.
It’s a cycle. A spiral.

And the men who thrive - the ones who don’t rot from the inside out - are the ones who understand: You don’t graduate from becoming.

The Turning Point: Embrace the Spiral

Here’s the pivot that changes everything:

Stop aiming to finish - and start learning to return.

Return to humility.
Return to responsibility.
Return to discomfort.
Return to wonder.
Return to the next place inside you that’s still afraid to die.

Because that’s where the next version of you lives.

Every time you think, “I’ve got this figured out,” life will test you.
Not to punish you.
To initiate you again.

Maybe you’ll lose something.
Maybe your woman will call you to rise.
Maybe you’ll outgrow your empire.
Maybe you’ll crack under the weight of your own mask.

Good.

Because every real man must walk through the door of himself again - and again - and again.

The Task: Track the Loop

You’re going to locate your current initiation.

Real-World Task

1. Name the Current Threshold
   What is life asking of you right now?
   

• Is it surrender?

• Is it confrontation?

• Is it grief?

• Is it vision?
  

2. Write it down. Plainly.
   “Right now, I am being asked to…”
   

3. Find the Fear
   

• What part of you is resisting it?

• What story are you clinging to?

• What role will you have to die to in order to pass through?

4. Choose the Offering
   Every initiation demands a sacrifice.
   Choose something - an identity, a habit, a belief - you’re ready to leave behind this week.
   Let it go. Burn it. Tell someone.
   Make it real.
   

Reflective Exercise

Each night this week, answer:

“What if this moment is my initiation—what am I being asked to become?”

Let that question shape your days.

You’re not stuck.
You’re not lost.
You’re not failing.

You’re being forged.

Reading List

1. The Book of Awakening – Mark Nepo
   Daily reminders that every day is a ritual, every moment a rite.
   

2. Fire in the Belly – Sam Keen
   A deep, gritty dive into modern male initiation and soul work.
   

3. The Rag and Bone Shop of the Heart – Bly, Hillman, Meade
   Poetry and essays that don’t flinch from the inner crucible.
   

4. The Way of Men – Jack Donovan
   Confronting, flawed, but hits hard on male tribalism and testing.
   

5. Falling Upward – Richard Rohr
   Christian mystic wisdom for understanding the second half of life.
   

So what if we stopped trying to graduate?

What if we stopped waiting for the moment when we’d feel whole, wise, enough?

And instead…

We entered the day like a rite.
We walked into our resistance like a temple.
We let ourselves be broken open - again.
We welcomed the next spiral like a brother.

Because this is the truth that frees you:

The man who seeks completion dies small.
The man who seeks initiation dies many times - and lives each time bigger.

So don’t look for the finish line.

Look for the fire.

And walk into it.