The Bridge Between Who You Are and Who You Want to Be.
“The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.”
– Samuel Johnson
I have spent a lot of time staring across that gap.
The space between the man I am and the man I want to be.
I think we all have.
That version of ourselves - the one we dream of becoming - feels close enough to see but too far to reach. He is stronger, sharper, more disciplined. He moves through life with certainty. He is the kind of man we would admire, the kind of man we know we could be, if only we could close the distance.
And yet, here we are.
We tell ourselves we are on our way. That we just need more time. More motivation. The right circumstances. That one day, we will wake up and finally be ready to become him.
But that day never comes, does it?
Because the gap does not close on its own.
And the longer we wait, the more we risk staying exactly where we are.
Why the Gap Feels Impossible to Cross
Most men think that becoming the man they want to be is a single, massive transformation - one big breakthrough moment where everything changes.
That is why so many of us get stuck.
Because when we look at the distance between who we are and who we want to be, it feels too big.
So we do nothing.
We wait.
We tell ourselves that once we feel ready - once life settles down, once we have a clear plan, once motivation kicks in - then we will move.
But here is the truth:
Readiness is a lie.
There is no perfect moment. There is no grand transformation.
There is only the small, daily work of closing the gap, step by step, choice by choice.
And every day we delay is a day we let that version of ourselves slip further out of reach.
The Bridge is Built in the Smallest Moments
There is no shortcut.
No hack. No magic formula.
The bridge between who we are and who we want to be is built in small, unremarkable moments - the ones where no one is watching, where no one is forcing us, where we have every reason to slip back into comfort but choose not to.
What does that look like?
It is waking up early when we said we would, even though no one would know if we didn’t.
It is showing up to train when we don’t feel like it, even if no one would blame us for skipping.
It is doing the hard thing instead of the easy thing, not just once, but every single time.
Every moment like this is a brick laid in the bridge.
And most men? They never lay enough bricks to make it across.
The Three Killers That Keep Us Stuck
There are three things that stop men from ever closing the gap:
1. The Myth of Motivation
We think we need to feel ready to act.
But the truth is, action creates motivation - not the other way around.
If we wait until we feel like doing the work, we will never do it.
2. The Weight of Our Past
We carry our failures, mistakes, and missed opportunities like chains.
We tell ourselves, “I’ve never followed through before, why would this time be different?”
But who we were yesterday does not matter. The only thing that matters is what we do today.
3. The Comfort of Excuses
Every man has a reason why he can’t change right now.
“I’m too busy.”
“I’ll start after this one last thing.”
“Now’s just not the right time.”
These are lies we tell ourselves to avoid the discomfort of actually changing.
The men who make it across are not the ones who have less doubt or fewer excuses.
They are the ones who act despite them.
How to Build the Bridge - Starting Now
If we are serious about becoming the men we are meant to be, we have to stop waiting.
The bridge does not build itself.
Here is where we start:
1. Make One Small Decision and Execute Immediately
Not tomorrow. Not later today. Right now.
One action, however small, that moves us forward.
2. Create Non-Negotiables
The best way to eliminate hesitation? Make it non-optional.
Decide:
“I train every day, no matter what.”
“I never hit snooze.”
“I finish what I start.”
These are not goals. These are laws.
3. Stop Thinking, Start Moving
Every time we hesitate, we lose.
The men who change are the men who act before their mind has time to argue.
Feel resistance? Move anyway.
4. Track the Days You Showed Up
Not how much you did. Not how perfectly you performed.
Just whether you showed up at all.
Progress is built in consistency, not intensity.
The Exercise: Lay the First Brick
Reflective Exercise:
Write down who you want to be in one sentence.
Now, write down one action that man takes daily that you are not currently doing.
Ask yourself: What stops me from doing this? Is it really a good reason - or just a comfortable excuse?
Real-World Task:
Do that action today. Not tomorrow. Not later.
Lay the first brick.
Conclusion: The Gap is an Illusion - If We Move
The space between who we are and who we want to be only exists if we stand still.
But the moment we start laying bricks, the moment we start moving, the moment we start acting like the man we want to become, the gap closes.
Not all at once. Not overnight.
But slowly, surely, inevitably.
So the only question is - will we start building today, or will we stand at the edge of the gap for another year, watching, waiting, hoping?
