Bringing the Fire Back: Why Men’s Initiation Must Return to the Cities
Laurence H Johns
“You may leave a tribe, but the tribe will never leave you.”
– African Proverb
Modern cities are packed with people, yet most men walk through them like ghosts. Surrounded by millions, yet completely alone. The chaos of urban life strips men of something primal – something our ancestors understood but we have long forgotten.
Initiation.
Rites of passage.
Men’s work.
The fire that forged boys into men for generations has been reduced to an afterthought, replaced with the cold, sterile rituals of modernity: school, job, bills, distractions. The village is gone. The tribal elder has been replaced by the corporate manager. The warrior’s initiation has been swapped for meaningless self-indulgence – porn, video games, weekend drinking sessions that serve as nothing but an escape from the dull, slow death of routine.
We have left initiation behind. And because of that, we have left men behind.
It is time to bring men’s work back into the cities. Not as a nostalgic throwback to the past, but as a non-negotiable part of the future.
Why Urban Men Are Starving for Initiation
Cities should be places of power. They should be where men sharpen themselves, where they build, lead, and create. Instead, they have become places of distraction and numbness.
Men drift from one stage of life to the next without ever being told when one phase has ended and another has begun. We move from adolescence to adulthood without ever facing a true threshold moment, a challenge that forces us to prove we are ready.
And because of that, most of us never fully arrive.
We become grown men still carrying the anxieties and wounds of boyhood. We enter relationships, father children, and take on responsibilities without ever having crossed the fire that transforms us. Without ever having been tested.
It wasn’t always this way.
The Power of Initiation: What We Lost
Every thriving culture had initiation rites. Every single one.
Tribes sent boys into the wild to return as men. Warriors were tested in blood and fire before being trusted to lead. Secret societies and brotherhoods existed to challenge, break, and rebuild those who sought to be more than just males—who sought to become men.
These rites weren’t about exclusion. They weren’t about proving superiority. They were about ensuring that the men who stood beside you were men you could trust with your life.
They were about creating men who were grounded in something bigger than themselves.
What do we have now?
Nothing.
The closest thing to initiation in the modern world is joining a gang or the military – two institutions that at least offer something resembling a brotherhood, a test, a trial by fire.
But what about the rest of us?
Where is the urban man’s initiation? Where is his fire? Where is his moment where he stands before the abyss, strips himself of who he was, and emerges something new?
It does not exist.
And that is why so many men in cities feel lost, restless, and disconnected. Because something inside them knows—knows they were supposed to be tested. Knows they were supposed to be guided through that transformation by other men. Knows they were meant to step into something greater.
Why We Must Bring Men’s Work Back to the Cities
For too long, men’s work has been exiled to the wilderness. The initiations that do exist happen in retreats, remote workshops, and expensive getaways—places that working-class men, urban men, and men of every background rarely have the time, money, or knowledge to access.
That has to change.
We need urban rites of passage. We need brotherhoods in the heart of the city. We need men’s groups, courses, and initiation rituals that meet men where they are – not in some faraway forest, but in the streets, the gyms, the meeting halls, and the very neighbourhoods where they are struggling.
If we wait for men to find the wilderness, most never will.
The wilderness must come to them.
What Urban Men’s Work Must Look Like
If we are going to do this right, urban initiation cannot be weak. It cannot be softened into just another self-help exercise. It must be raw, powerful, and undeniable.
It must test men. It must break them down and rebuild them stronger.
Here’s what it should include:
Physical Ordeal: A man’s body must be tested. Whether through combat training, endurance challenges, fasting, or physical hardship, an initiation must demand that he confront his limits.
Psychological Trial: A man must face his fears, weaknesses, and unresolved wounds. Guided by other men, he must stare into the depths of his own soul and wrestle with what he finds there.
Public Commitment: He must stand before other men and declare who he is becoming. A true rite of passage is witnessed. It is not private. It is a transformation seen by others, so it cannot be denied.
Brotherhood Formation: The rite does not end when the challenge is over. A tribe must be forged. The men who go through it together must stand together afterward, holding each other accountable, ensuring that the lessons learned are not forgotten.
This is how we reclaim initiation. This is how we bring men’s work back to the cities.
Conclusion: The Time for Waiting is Over
The village is gone, but we can rebuild it. The elders are absent, so we must become them. The rites of passage have been lost, so we must forge new ones.
Cities do not have to be places where men drift through life alone. They can become furnaces of initiation, places where men find brotherhood, fire, and the trials that make them who they are meant to be.
The modern world has forgotten what it means to turn boys into men.
It is up to us to remember.
And it is up to us to act.
The Exercise: Start Building the Fire
We cannot wait for someone else to do this for us. We must start where we are, with what we have.
Reflective Exercise:
Take a hard look at your life and ask yourself:
Have I ever truly been tested? Not just by life’s hardships, but in a deliberate, intentional initiation?
What trial do I need to face to move into my next stage of life? What am I avoiding?
Where is my brotherhood? Who in my life will hold me accountable to my growth?
Write your answers down. Do not let them be forgotten.
Real-World Task:
If there is no men’s work in your city, start it.
Gather at least three men who are serious about growth.
Set a challenge that tests you physically and mentally – whether it’s a brutal workout, a night spent in total silence, or a day of fasting and self-reflection.
Make commitments to each other. Define your own principles of initiation and hold each other to them.
This is how it starts. Not with waiting. Not with hope. But with action.
