The Cost of Ignoring Young Men: Why the Absence of Elders Created Andrew Tate and What We Must Do About It.
“If you do not initiate the young, they will burn the village down just to feel its warmth.”
– African Proverb
For years, society has ignored young men.
Dismissed their struggles. Mocked their frustrations. Labelled them dangerous, toxic, or irrelevant. Instead of guiding them, we’ve abandoned them.
Now, we are seeing the consequences.
The rise of Andrew Tate and men like him isn’t an accident. It isn’t a fluke. It is a symptom of a broken system. A system where young men - lost, angry, and desperate for direction - are turning to whoever will speak to them, even if that voice leads them down the wrong path.
We are seeing the failure of modern masculinity in real-time. And at the heart of it is one undeniable truth: we have no elders.
For generations, young men were initiated into adulthood by mentors, warriors, teachers, and fathers - men who had walked the path before them and could show them the way.
Today, those men are gone. Young men are growing up without guidance, without initiation, and without role models who give them real answers.
And when elders fail to step up, the loudest voice in the room takes their place.
Why Young Men Are Turning to the Wrong Leaders
Look at the world from the perspective of a teenage boy today. He is growing up in an environment that tells him:
His masculinity is a problem to be solved. He is told that being a man is inherently oppressive, that his natural aggression, drive, and competitive nature are dangerous rather than assets to be honed.
No one cares about his struggles. While conversations about mental health flourish in every other demographic, young men are mocked for their pain. They are told to "man up" when they struggle, then criticised for their emotional distance when they shut down.
There is no path to becoming a man. Past generations had rites of passage, elder mentorship, and clear expectations of what it meant to be a man. Today, young men are left to figure it out on their own.
When we ignore young men, we create a vacuum.
And nature abhors a vacuum.
Enter Andrew Tate.
Love him or hate him, he speaks directly to the needs that mainstream culture refuses to acknowledge. He tells young men that their pain is valid. That they are not weak for wanting to be strong. That they do not need to apologise for their ambition. That they have been lied to about what it means to be a man.
The tragedy isn’t that young men are listening to him. The tragedy is that no one else was talking to them at all.
The Absence of Elders: Where Are the Men Who Should Be Leading?
Where are the elders?
Where are the men who should be guiding young men toward discipline, responsibility, and purpose?
Where are the men who walked through fire and came back with wisdom - the ones who should be offering guidance instead of condemnation?
We live in a society that fears male authority figures. Fathers, teachers, and male mentors have been pushed out, silenced, or shamed into stepping back. Men who try to lead are met with suspicion, treated as threats rather than necessary figures in a young man’s development.
The result?
A generation of lost boys, desperately searching for initiation.
And when healthy elders are absent, toxic leaders take their place.
Tate, and men like him, are simply filling the void that we allowed to form.
What Eldership Really Means
Eldership isn’t about dominance. It isn’t about control. It is about responsibility. It is about standing in the gap between a lost generation and the wisdom they were supposed to receive.
A real elder does not seek blind followers. He does not manipulate or exploit. He does not sell young men a fantasy of unchecked power or revenge.
A real elder does three things:
He listens. Young men today are not being heard. They are being lectured, ignored, or ridiculed. A true elder sees them, hears them, and acknowledges their pain without dismissing it.
He guides. He does not just say, "Be strong." He shows them how to be strong. He teaches by example. He lives with integrity.
He initiates. He gives young men the trials they are looking for. Instead of allowing them to seek initiation in reckless ways - violence, crime, extreme ideologies - he gives them purposeful challenges that shape them into men worth following.
Young men want to be tested. They want to be pushed beyond their limits. If we do not give them trials, they will create their own - often in destructive ways.
Rebuilding Eldership: What We Must Do Now
If we want to stop the rise of destructive male influencers, we cannot just criticise them. We must offer something better.
This is not about bringing back outdated, rigid masculinity. This is about restoring a tradition as old as civilisation itself - the passing of wisdom from one generation of men to the next.
Here’s where we start:
Reclaim Mentorship
Men in their 30s, 40s, and beyond must step up.
If you are reading this, you have a responsibility to guide younger men. This is not someone else’s job.
Find young men who need guidance and offer it - whether it’s a younger colleague, a nephew, or a man at your gym who needs direction.
Create Real Initiations
If we do not give young men trials, they will find their own in reckless ways.
We must bring rites of passage back into men’s work, whether through physical challenges, mental tests, or meaningful group trials.
We must create spaces where young men are tested, held accountable, and shaped into men of strength, integrity, and purpose.
Offer Purpose, Not Just Criticism
It is not enough to tell young men what not to do.
They need a mission. They need a code to live by.
Instead of saying "Do not follow Tate," we must say, "Follow something greater - discipline, brotherhood, honour."
The Exercise: Be the Elder You Never Had
This week, take real action.
Reflective Exercise:
Ask yourself: Who were the men that shaped me? Were they present? Were they absent? What lessons did I learn from them - good or bad?
How can I pass on the wisdom I have gained to the next generation?
Real-World Task:
Identify one young man in your life - a nephew, a younger colleague, a struggling friend. Check in on him. Ask him what challenges he is facing. Listen. Offer guidance. Show up.
If no one comes to mind, seek out a men’s group, mentorship program, or a space where young men need strong leadership.
Conclusion: The Future of Men Depends on Us
We failed young men. Not because we were too harsh, but because we abandoned them when they needed us most.
We let the wrong voices rise because we refused to speak up.
Now, we have a choice: continue to complain about where things are going, or step up and become the elders we were meant to be.
Because if we do not guide the next generation, someone else will.
And we may not like what they become.
